JUNE GEMS: FOOD FOR THOUGHT APPETEASERS

     Today we present two vignettes to introduce our June Gems. One is a humorous one that presents more of our popular oxymorons as we brought you last year. The second is more of a medatative nature. With graduation and prom nights here, this is a short poem reminding us not to rush through life but stop and smell the roses and enjoy the slow dance in life's prom. The first "More Moronic Oxymorons" was submitted by via e-mail by BF and the second, "Don't rush the Slow Dance at Life's Prom" was e-mailed by LG. .

Act naturally


Found missing


Resident alien


Advanced BASIC


Genuine imitation


Airline food


Good grief


Same difference


Almost exactly


Government organization


Sanitary landfill


Alone together


Legally drunk


Silent scream


British fashion


Living dead


Small crowd


Business ethics


Soft rock


Butt head


Military intelligence


Software documentation


New York culture


Extinct life


Sweet sorrow


Childproof


"Now, then..."


Synthetic natural gas


Mature teenager


Passive aggression


Taped live


Clearly misunderstood


Peace force


New classic


Temporary tax increase


French bravery


Plastic glasses


Terribly pleased


Computer security


Political science


Tight slacks


Definite maybe


Pretty ugly


Twelve-ounce pound cake


Diet ice cream


Rap music


Working vacation


Exact estimate


Christian Science


And the NUMBER ONE Top Oxymoron...

Microsoft Works!

Have you ever watched kids
on a merry-go-round
or listened to the rain
slapping on the ground?

Ever followed a butterfly's
erratic flight
or gazed at the sun into the
fading night?

You better slow down
Don't dance so fast
Time is short
The music won't last

Do you run through each day
on the fly?
When you ask "How are you?"
do you hear the reply?

When the day is done,
do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores
running through your head?

You better slow down
Don't dance so fast
Time is short
The music won't last

Ever told your child,
We'll do it tomorrow
And in your haste,
not see his sorrow?

Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die
'Cause you never had time
to call and say "Hi"?

You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast
Time is short
The music won't last

When you run so fast to get
somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting
there.

When you worry and hurry through
your day,
it is like an unopened gift...
Thrown away...

Life is not a race.
Do take it slower
Hear the music
Before the song is over.