Calling "Cyndi's Angels" to rally for her!
We ask your prayers and help right now since Cyndi's life is presently hanging by a thread.
Few articles are harder to write than when we have to share our in-most feelings and private life. But in this it is necessary since it so greatly affects The Daily Catholic which has been our ministry for the past six years and prior to that since 1990 under a different masthead. I write to you today that I will have to put The Daily Catholic once again on indefinite hiatus in order to devote all my time to my loving bride Cyndi who, as I write this, is clinging for her life in Skaggs Community Health Center in Branson with ARDS. It goes without saying that your prayers are the most powerful medicine she can receive right now.
Cyndi's loving husband Michael Cain, editor
On the very, very early morning of the Feast of the Seven Sorrows of the Blessed Virgin Mary she was rushed to emergency for she was burning up with a temperature nearing 104 and was incoherent in her speech while slipping in and out of consciousness. It came on suddenly for Saturday we had been out and she was fine. Late Saturday afternoon she said she had to lie down for a while, but was looking forward to Holy Mass the next morning even though it would be a 150 mile round trip drive to a Traditional Latin Mass. The next morning she was in no shape to make Mass, let alone get up out of bed so our two sons Kevin, Kellin and I gathered with her and prayed the Rosary and then the Mass Prayers in absentia. She rested most of the day while the guys watched football. Each time we'd check in on her she was sleeping so we didn't disturb her figuring rest would reinvigorate her. However, when I went to bed at about 12:30 a.m. she was lying flat with her head off the pillow. I tried to wake her gently to reposition her head so she could breathe easier and not have a sore neck in the morning since that had happened before.
For those not aware Cyndi has a severe case of fibromyalgia and is permanently disabled from that and a chronic case of pulmonary deficiency, something she has suffered with ever since she was very young. Whenever someone else might come down with a common cold - for Cyndi it usually translated into pneumonia. To date she has contracted pneumonia over 50 times in her life since she was seven years-old. Cyndi had told me Sunday morning that she was afraid she had pneumonia again and I suggested taking her to the ER at Skaggs that afternoon but she declined, realizing she already had some antibiotics and would weather the storm as she had in the past. But alas, this time it was much more severe.
When I realized how high her temperature was and that even with Kevin's help we couldn't keep her conscious, we called 911 immediately and to their everlasting credit they were there under ten minutes and we live in the Mark Twain National Forest at the top of one of the Ozark Mountain peaks - low-slung though they may be. They rushed her to Skaggs Hospital 20 miles away and we followed closely behind the Paramedic Van. They were excellent in ER and when the X-rays came back about 3:45 a.m. the ER doctor told me that had we not brought her in she would have died within a day or sooner. He also said if she was not admitted and were to go back home - which, in her Kreke (maiden name) Scottish stubbornness she wanted to do - she wouldn't make it for she had bi-lateral pneumonia where both lungs were filled with liquid. They are still not sure how she contracted it so quickly. It has all the symptoms of SARS but they've ruled that out and prefer to refer to it most probably as ARDS - Adult Respiratory Distress Syndrome.
Whatever it is called it is debilitating. They tried various breathing apparatus measures and the lungs did not improve. Thus, at the great hour of Mercy - 3 p.m. Wednesday, September 18th they had to sedate her and put her on the ventilator with a tube down her throat - basically: life support. We can only pray now. If that does not improve things dramatically they'll have to transfer her to Springfield to either St. John's Hospital or Cox Medical Center where they have pulmonary specialists to try to do a thorough bronchoscopy to save whatever might be left of her lungs. To put it mildly it is touch and go and very critical.
We have had quite a bit of rain in these here parts - see, already startin' to sound like an Ozarkian - and the mold count is higher than normal. There is a possibility that she was allergic to a particular kind of mold which they haven't been able to identify yet. They're still trying to decipher that or what could have brought it on so quickly considering she was doing fine just the day before.
I was able to contact a Traditional priest who drove 80 miles Monday morning to hear her confession, give her Holy Viaticum and administer the Last Sacrament of Extreme Unction. So she is at total peace with whatever God so wills, including if she should suffer further. We leave it in God's hands whether it will lead to her recovery if her mission on earth is not completed yet, or if He so chooses to bring her Home to enjoy the everlasting Beatific Vision. We accept either though it is very, very difficult and our sons are taking it really hard, still not understanding the total concept of letting go and letting God take over.
As many know, for many years Cyndi has been a victim soul and offered her suffering up for the reparation of sinners and for the innocent unborn slaughtered in the womb. Her suffering is now becoming unbearable for her and that is what so taxes me to see a loved one, such a loved one in so much pain. We know Our Lord will never give anyone a cross too great to bear, and yet, in our humanity, we feel like we're at our wits end in trying to continue that steep path up Calvary.
What makes it more grueling is our deteriorating personal financial situation which grows more desperate every day. Indeed, if she is in the hospital for any extended length of time we may have to sell our home in order to meet our other costs and move into an apartment nearer the hospital if a two bedroom would be available. As much as we love our home, it is only a building - albeit very comfortable and secure overlooking the lake - and, yes, a necessity, but nevertheless it is a material entity and we are resigned to the fact that if God takes it away, He has something better. Right now with Cyndi taken out of the equation by being incapacited with ARDS, I'm left with facing the reality of what we would do if her situation grows worse. At a time like this all we can do is turn to our friends who ask "if there is anything we can do, let us know." As humbling as it is for me to say it, I have to let you know that we are broke and any kind of financial help would be providence from above.
Over the last thirteen years we personally have made interest-free loans to The Daily Catholic totalling over $30,000. and so we have the legal right to recoup some of that if it were available. The problem is, that at this time, it is not. Just being able to recoup a third of that would get us through these really rough times and that is not even taking into consideration the very succinct possibility of having to bury her. The fact is that right now we don't have a penny to pay for a funeral, a casket or a burial plot. Though I hate to bring up such a morbid subject at this time, I feel prompted by the Holy Ghost to share our plight with those who love Cyndi so. Any donation you could make would legally be going to The Daily Catholic and therefore tax-deductible because The Daily Catholic would be donating to a needy family which we definitely are at this time. We would count this off the funds we had loaned the ministry, but it would still be a donation both from the giver and to the recipient. While this might sound complicated, it really isn't since we have not taken any kind of salary since April 1997. We have lived since then solely on disability and my Social Security. Unfortunately, with the cost of living increases, the cutback in services - especially medical - and our youngest son reaching his 18th birthday has depleted our fixed income to where we are truly below poverty level. We own nothing new, drive a '93 Honda Odyssey (our own) and a '92 Dodge Caravan (the ministry's) and struggle to pay for gas, let alone repairs since both vehicles have over 150,000 miles on them and we just pray that the angels keep it going on "seraphim power."
As I said, I'm asking this for our family on behalf of the ministry which has in its bank account right now just a little over $1,000. Our personal account is less than that. It is probably the hardest and most humiliating thing I can do to ask for financial help, but then I remember two passages of Our Lord
God truly knows our heart and our needs, and now it is His will that we swallow our pride and make it known to our friends of The Daily Catholic of Cyndi's critical plight and our desperate need for help. If you can find it in your heart to help in any way we would so appreciate if you could send a check of whatever you can afford to help to:
% The Daily Catholic
46 Hummingbird Lane
Kimberling City, MO 65686.
We will be eternally grateful and I mean that literally for we will include your name to be remembered for your intentions during the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. That's all we can offer in gratitude - our prayers. Hopefully that will suffice more than any amount of material wealth could. Yet, though we are not of the world, we still have to live in the world and right now that is very, very difficult.
To all those who know and love Cyndi, if you would like to send a personal message of encouragement, love and prayerful good wishes, please send them to me at firstname.lastname@example.org and I will immediately convey them to her in the hospital. Right now she needs that encouragement and that will greatly buoy her spirits during this very dark and frightening time in her life. Though she cannot respond except with a squeeze of the hand or a blink of her eye, she'll know how much she is loved and it will greatly encourage her.
In order to devote all my time to her and keep the good ship "Cain Family" afloat, I will be suspending, as I said, The Daily Catholic for at least a few weeks and possibly longer. I beg your forgiveness if I do not reply to e-mails right now, though I will print out those sent to encourage Cyndi and take them to the hospital each day. If you need to call, please call 1-417-230-0273 and leave a message and where I can reach you. I will try to return your call in the evening after 9 p.m. central time after I return from the hospital and also since that is when we have more minutes available on the cell phone.
It is no coincidence, I believe, but rather a "Godincidence" that she was rushed to the hospital to begin this quite possibly, as my sons and I must accept, the final martyrdom of the body on the feast of the Seven Sorrows of the Blessed Mother for it was her mother Dolores - which, of course means "Sorrows" in Latin - who dedicated her to the Immaculate Heart when she was a small child and dressed her in blue throughout her childhood. Cyndi is a mystic in the sensus Catholicus, since she was blessed with interior locutions from Our Lady from those innocent days of youth on. It was the message from Our Lord in early 1990 that prompted us to begin this ministry, for it was Heaven Who named her the "Hidden Flower of the Immaculate Heart" in which Christ Himself interiorily imparted to her:
"...because My Mother has taken you, a tender bud and placed you within My Sacred Wounds, I shall mold you, I shall bring you to perfection all that I have placed within you, and this shall be hidden from the world...My Hidden Flower, know that I place you in the hands of My Immaculate Mother, and you shall know the tender care of Her Immaculate Heart. Know that I desire to work in you in silence, that you shall suffer many crosses and that to you shall be given the triple martyrdom of body, mind and soul."
Her mind and soul are at peace. She's protected by the impenetrable shield of the Sacraments, thus remaining in the most elevated spiritual state of Sanctifying Grace as she struggles with that final third stage of her "triple martyrdom" which has, is and will bear great fruit - though only God knows the fullness of that harvest.
We ask patience with our readers for we know this is an inconvenience not to have updated versions of The Daily Catholic but now it is time for our family to be truly Catholic and to unite in prayer and total attention to our loving Cyndi. I know all will understand. I will keep our readers abreast of her progress and I thank you in advance for your concern, prayers and whatever you can do to help us during this,especially for my sons and I, a very, very critical and trying time. I know full well my bride Cynthia Adele Frances Kreke Cain is a fighter and, though it may take nigh unto a miracle, I'm still prayerful she'll pull through this if it be God's will.
This is the first editorial I have written in thirteen years that Cyndi did not read first and proof-read, even help edit. She is my rock and if there are a few grammatical errors or typos, then you'll see how, even behind the scenes, she is so invaluable. Feel free to share this letter, if you will, with others for it really isn't an editorial this time, but a heartfelt plea of help to "Cyndi's Angels," who, over the years, have multiplied in knowing and caring about this special lady. She has always been there for others, now urgently, I am begging and calling "Cyndi's Angels" to rally for her!