We hear enough about the so-called glamour of the "sexually active" from the secular world. Portions of the following letter are not for the faint of heart. It is designed to let any virgin be aware of the ugliness of premarital sex and its ramifications. Would you be so bold in the Lord to spread the letter far and wide? Traditional and Conservative Catholics clearly need a sea change, what is needed is an attitude change, particularly on the part of young males and females, toward this problem which is paramount, I think, if we are to return to right thinking and right spirituality. That we accomplish virtually nothing as Traditional and Conservative Catholics attests I think to the fact that we have not returned to right ways. Concerning this letter, it is not a healing letter because this girl, my cousin, by the grace of God, is after all a virgin. The letter, I wrote on the Feast of Saint Bernardine of Siena is one of counsel of an older cousin to a younger cousin. As a layman in the single state, the scarcity of virgins to marry is close to my heart and of concern. I leave the work of healing those who are having premarital/extramarital sex to the priests; that kind of thing is not in this letter. If it seems somewhat callous, kindly reflect that if all men thought this way, as once was and will be again, sins of impurity would practically vanish. In Deo salutare meum et gloria mea.
Thank you kindly for inviting me to your high school graduation ceremony. The continental distance prevents me from attending personally, however, I am there in spirit. Enclosed is a little check as a way of saying congratulations. I'm personally very pleased that you have done exceedingly well in school and that your fine talents have been noted at the state and national level. Now that you're graduating high school, and of age, I would like to tell you some things, as a sort of older brother, about choices that I think you should be aware of. I'm using "choices" not in the politically correct sense, but as a code word. I have alluded to them previously, a little. If we could be isolated from the modern world on some island somewhere or in another time we wouldn't have to worry about such things, but unfortunately that's difficult to do presently. What I write, however, is not for the easily offended or the weak of heart, and in that case you should stop reading this letter with this paragraph, and just go cash the check.
Your purity is very precious in the sight of God, and it is very precious to godly men. Not just to potential suitors, but to all who see the vision of the glory of God. You are a temple to the Holy Ghost. The act of procreation is a kind of paralleling of the priest of Old Testament times entering the Holy of Holys, and now, in the Consecration of the Host and in the Tabernacle, the very special places where God dwells. And there is God, Who creates new life. Now many don't respect this concept presently, in fact they flaunt their flooziness, as if to mock God, and this offends Him deeply. And God has become angry. He allows the slaughter of the millions of unborn who die by abortion each year to result. He allows the slaughter of millions of born Catholics by members of false religions such as occurs in the Sudan, Ethiopia, Egypt, China, and Timor. Sadly, it is due in part to the lack of vigilance and sometimes downright negligence or even evil by our religious leaders who ignore the need for purity, and sometimes, horribly, even encourage otherwise. Even some priests, to their shame and condemnation, will tell you that remaining a virgin until marriage is bad. This change in religious leaders' perspective is directly correlated with the implementation of the Vatican II church in 1965. That is why I have been suggesting that you might want to get involved with a traditional Roman Catholic parish.
But back to the future. There are also a number of practical reasons to flee from the art of "dating", though it is glamorized and commended in the many evil movies and television shows that are being produced. Even with the best of intentions, this practice of dating can quickly lead a young woman down a slippery slope that never ends. In the first place dating is always an occasion for sin, because we are putting ourselves in a situation where impure things can easily and rapidly happen. Sometimes, this is intentional, particularly on the part of the male. And sometimes it is criminal. He may give the girl alcohol or drugs so she doesn't know what is happening until it's too late. Believe me it happens. I have heard firsthand accounts of it from Christian women in sorrow. Another practice will be for the guy to take the girl to a room where she is defenseless, and then do what he wants with her. Again, believe me when I say it happens, and rather frequently. I have heard this firsthand from a young, beautiful Catholic woman in tears. Some might say that there is the power of the law to put the fiends in jail where they belong, or that the fiends will receive their reward in the next life, and that is true. But by that point it is too late for the girl's purity.
Then we have the practical matter of the actual impure acts themselves. If one is a student of character, it is possible to tell the state of purity of an individual. A woman who has many lovers acts entirely differently from one who has had no lovers, or one that has only had her husband when they got married. The woman of many lovers has seen everything, done everything, and become jaded. Men talk about her. With a little perception, one realizes that she is totally burned out and used. Anyone with a little common sense can detect it. And it is a real turn-off for all but the most low-life of males. With regards to romance, women who stay away from "relationships" are happier and guilt-free during their marital romance, which is meant to bring forth godly offspring. Then there is also the practical matter of diseases. The more frequent the contact, the more men she has, the more germs and diseases a woman will acquire. It is a simple medical fact. Owing to the germs and diseases, the woman of many lovers develops particular body odors that will be a real turn-off for her future husband. And it often becomes difficult or impossible for her to have children because of the infections she has acquired.
The woman of casual romance also almost inevitably ends up having an abortion. That is a statistical fact. One who plays with fire gets burned. And what is abortion? It is the murder of the most defenseless of people, a happy little baby. It is a child-sacrifice to satan and gives him much pleasure. He laughs with delight at the tremendous boom in business that the abortion clinics are doing, which are cropping up everywhere. The woman who has had an abortion either is scarred for life or becomes totally unfeeling, her senses dulled. She will either be crying on the inside for the rest of her life or will become so numb that she can no longer participate fully in life. She becomes a bystander whether she wants to admit it or not. This numbing, or crying, or alternately both, takes many forms. Often the woman will seek a new religion that is a form of denial that the act of abortion ever took place. Frequently she becomes an "evangelical" Christian, and she tries to convert unsuspecting people to her false religion to "save" them, as an unconscious guilt-reliever and way to make amends for the abortion. A sorry state indeed.
Finally, for a woman who has "played the field" there is the matter of the lack of virginity itself. In the old days the terminology would be that she is ruined; she has become like a used car with all its associated but unknown problems. And her future spouse, godly or not, unless he is a total low-life, will not be happy with her state. He may not show it; he may keep it in the back of his mind, he may be able to live with it, but he will not like it. And for godly men to live with such a spouse is one penance I personally hope I won't be asked to do.
Least we end on a depressing note, I include this last for your reflection. The godly man who marries a pure woman is a very blessed one indeed. He has received God's grace in his life; he has been given a rare jewel, a diamond shimmering brilliantly. The woman too, is greatly blessed. She has no guilt; she has done what she is supposed to; she has done her duty before God. And she will be declared innocent in the sight of God in two of His important Commandments (VI and IX). Her children will arise and listen to her; when she speaks to them about purity she has the authority of the way she has conducted her own life to do so. Her husband will always want to hold her; he will long to keep her in his arms. When they grow old he will still be satisfied; he will be happy to live with her and see their children and grandchildren grow.
Preparation for this type of life, dear cousin, must begin now. There is no tomorrow. The young virgin should live in her father's house until she is married, or leaves to live a consecrated life in the cloister. That is Biblical. Forget the desire to travel to some distant college and "get an education" - it can only lead to evil. She can get her education from her father's house. The most important part of that education is being drawn closer to the Lord, through Holy Mass, prayer, and penance. It can best be done living a traditional Catholic life, to grow in the interior life of holiness. One might also think that this might be the time for a little finishing so that one can do a little sewing for her future family and improve the knowledge of cooking beyond that of dropping a pop-tart in the toaster. Teaching and nursing are said to be the most commendable work that give the most glory to God, for the woman in the single state. Successful teaching of the young or helping of the sick are difficult tasks that require fortitude and a godly sense. They are a good preparation for marriage. And so, dear cousin, I hope you will reflect on these things, which are true. Your young life is before you; why not make the greatest impact for God that you can?