September 6, 2007
vol 18, no. 249

IHOL's New Motu Menu
    Newchurch's IHOL (International House of Liturgies) dramatically expands its offerings. But from looking at the portfolio of past poor performances, just how well will it do?

Father Paul Trinchard, S.T.L.

Hungry for true reverence and absolute Catholic truth, customers of the counterfeit church of conciliarism will be left with crumbs from a crumbling company which for forty years abandoned the demographics pleasing to the Divine. Instead they have, for too long, foisted on the public an inferior product that quickly grew stale and stagnant. Only in the last few years has the president of this failing infrastructure realized there must be a change in the fare. Unfortunately, as we shall see on September 14, few customers will be satisfied for instead of a wholesome necessary menu that includes the Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity of Jesus Christ present only in the Sacrament of the Eucharist when confected correctly by a valid priest, it will be something the chief chef threw together to please the greedy stockholders, not the customers so starving for sustenance. In the end all IHOL will do is leave customers waffled and flapjacked. Such is the progress of conciliar concepts draining souls of grace by IHOL's hostile takeover.

    "Add to this the fact that nearly all of those franchise owners and their executive officers have successfully and wholeheartedly adapted to discarding the old-time menu offerings and have, we dare to say, ‘religiously’ committed themselves to the new all-improved, liturgical menu, which in IHOL outlets, has come to totally replace the pre-sixties’ menu. One has no recourse but to predict bigger problems arising in the future."

      Editor's Note: Father Trinchard, esteemed author of the books, "New Mass" Is Conclusively Invalid, Latin Mass Prayers Explained, and Apocalypse of the Mass to mention just a few, provides a serious, yet tongue-in-cheek analogy here of the Modern church replicating nothing better than a corporate conglomerate intent only on profit and padding the pockets of its shareholders - the board members in purple and scarlet who are so out of touch with their customers. With implementation of Benedict's Motu set to be in place as of the Feast of the Holy Cross, one has to wonder, as does Father Trinchard, that what makes anyone think things will be better considering the miserable track record and lack of dividends this corrupt company has generated? No wonder there have been no fruits (cf. St. Matthew 7: 15-21). If you are one of those ordained after 1968 or 1970, Father Trinchard offers a helping hand in learning Latin and understanding it takes more than just a Motu to truly say the Traditional Latin Mass. We know it takes a humble heart to admit you've been duped, but what price pride when the salvation of your own soul and the souls of those you are responsible for are at stake? After all, even Modern Rome is admitting this in roundabout ways in the recent Motu. For those confused, look to the pre-sixties menu to fully satisfy your soul. Ask the Holy Ghost for guidance to come back home to the true Catholic Church.

    Many wait in anticipation for what will go into effect this month following the announcement of a long awaited policy change two months ago by IHOL’s president and executive officer, Joseph Ratzinger. After nearly 5 years of such rumblings, what will happpen? All sorts of possibilities exist, however, the tease is becoming more frequent and appearing in common news stories in the secular press. Therefore, we must pay somewhat more attention that such a possible policy change being enacted may, after all these years, finally occur and be released in the press. If so, the press release might go like this.

        Lacking the unanimous approval of his board of directors, president of Newchurch announced on July 7 this year that Newchurch’s subsidiary, commonly referred to as IHOL, (International House of Liturgies) in an attempt to offset and reverse diminishing sales and thereby to remedy its weak market performance, would offer a dramatically expanded liturgical menu to include a new "Motu Menu": it would bring back “old-time favorites.”

        Over the last two months Wall Street and Church Street experts have quickly reacted. They reminded us that this menu was the mainstay or basis of the outstanding performance of the Catholic Church before it became Newchurch—up to the late 1960s. IHOL’s stock soon rose sharply then slowly resumed its slow slide downward.

        Stockholders’ reaction has been skeptical and mixed. True Church Street experts, in general, have suggested dumping all of one’s shaky Newchurch holdings. Others have suggested a “wait and see” strategy.

    In light of such a theoretical release, it would follow with a theoretical response that the corporation [IHOL] will be strained, perhaps even “overstrained,” citing internal dissension within both high and middle management as a crucial factor:

        “Will middle-management (clerical personnel who have come to operate their franchises independently of the president (Ratzinger) and his wishes go along with this 180 degree product change? Due to loose governing tactics of the previous president of Newchurch, middle-management personnel have now come to see themselves as being independent franchise operators.

        Add to this the fact that nearly all of those franchise owners and their executive officers have successfully and wholeheartedly adapted to discarding the old-time menu offerings and have, we dare to say, ‘religiously’ committed themselves to the new all-improved, liturgical menu, which in IHOL outlets, has come to totally replace the pre-sixties’ menu. One has no recourse but to predict bigger problems arising in the future.

        I advise one to take his stock out of IHOL or to watch it very carefully. Watch the overall market indicators and compare Newchurch’s IHOL stock’s projected performance to general market trends. Observe the present and projected supply and demand data concerning liturgical items.

        One last bit of advice: look into switching over to OL (Orthodox Liturgy). It’s market performance has been impressive (even though it took a dramatic and frightful dip in World War II).”

    Although the response above is from one of the foremost authorities on church stock, for the uninitiated, his observations need clarification. Allow me to fill in the gaps.

    The true CC Corporation preceded Newchurch Corporation. In fact, franchise operators in CC Corporation (none of them were owners at that time) were under strictest control of their respected and revered president. What he ordered them to do, they did [even before he gave an order].

    IHOL did not exist before 1966. Only one liturgical item was offered on CC’s menus (in all of its outlets). Canonized liturgies were the sole offerings in the CC outlets universally.

    In the sixties, a hostile company takeover took place. In the 1960s, middle management revolted and turned the presider into a figurehead who was under their control. Wojtyla became a very attractive and lucrative public relations spokesperson for IHOL. His act proved to be hard to follow.

    While, for many, CC seemed to remain intact due to Wojtyla’s clever and entertaining publicity, in reality, the corporation’s identity was radically changed. Catholic Church, Inc. was formed into Newchurch Inc. Newchurch’s main subsidiary was and remains IHOL—which replaced CC’s limited liturgical selections with a legion of “New Order” menu items.

    This background which was left out is integral to understanding the essence of Newchurch and its wholly-owned subsidiary, IHOL. With this background in mind, the reader can come to fathom the enormity of the president’s challenge (or is it really an order?) If it is a mandate, what will he do to the disobedient franchise owners?

    Is Ratzinger trying to regain control of the failing Newchurch Corp? Is he strategically “back-dating” his company in the hope of “updating” it? Will he update it into once again being CC? Time and response will tell, but there's a better way to gage the stock reports and that is to sell now and buy with all your might and built-up treasures the redeeming stock in the Orthodox Liturgies, also called TLM Infinity. The price for such lasting, steady stock is not dollars or pounds or yen, but prayer and penance; something everyone has a plethora of in their portfolios.

    The bottom line? This initiative could save a dying corporation. It could prove to be the shot in the arm that it needs to regain its share of the market. Yes, it could. But will it? That remains to be seen but is highly doubtful. As for me, I’m too old and too independently wealthy with stock from the true CC to bother about my holdings (if any) in Newchurch’s IHOL.

    September 6, 2007
    vol 18, no. 249