 
Caught in the act with the Whoopie Cushion!
Emphasizing 'Party' in the Democratic Party, the Dems have gone way over the line with the profane "pillow talk" of the progressive persnickety perpetrators of the culture of death. The question inevitably comes up who's the real comic - Kerry or the so-called comedians? Can't everyone see how pandering to the perverts will ketchup to Kerry? (pun intended)
"How Catholic! First Kerry has a ball enjoying imbecilic vulgarity, and then he praises it publicly, followed by claiming that it went too far 24 hours later. We must recall that Kerry incredibly admitted that he felt life began at conception just a few days before the Radio City event, thereby practically stating that his Pro-Choice position was nothing more than a Pro-Murder and Pro-Election stance. I guess it is common Catholic practice to praise offensive, lewd language, then slightly rebuke it, then slightly justify it, all while condoning murder! What does a cushion do? Why it softens things and makes them more comfortable! Is that not what Mr. Kerry is always doing? He softens evil and sin and makes it more comfortable to himself, to those who spin it, and to those who face it."
On July 8th The Democrats held a fund raising gala at New York City's Radio City Music Hall. From all reports by unbiased, objective sources, this "gala" turned into more of an x-rated litany full of vulgarities, slander, insults, and pure venom aimed at President Bush. The long list of Hollywood attackers included Meryll Streep, who chided Bush for claiming that Jesus was on his side while not following Jesus' call for all to be peacemakers. I guess Ms. Streep forgot the part about Jesus not exactly being too fond of murdering babies, promoting homosexuality, and trying to turn God into an understudy on a very off Broadway play called Oblivion, all things John Kerry seems comfortable with. The most talked-about performance, however, was turned in by the ex-Heroin addict and supposed comic Whoopie Goldberg, whose drunken, vulgar rants making fun of the President's last name while gesturing lewdly to herself were so brazen that even the liberal media had trouble trying to conceal the details. This event inspired me to see an appropriate pairing of John Kerry and Whoopie Goldberg, whose partnership I would like to call Team WhoopieCushion.
Juvenile Noise
To hear any rant by Whoopie Goldberg is to insult the ears with an infection of juvenile, imbecilic, immature, vulgar, and venomous noise. One must not forget that this comic legend in her own mind was the deep thinker who warned marchers at the recent March for Death that women were slipping back into dangerous, backroom abortions. At that clueless parade she used a coat hanger as a prop to illustrate her point. At the vulgar fest in Radio City, however, this woman was holding a bottle of wine as her prop, inadvertently illustrating the usual intellectual level of her empty tirades.
Goldberg got her stage name from the whoopee cushion, which is a gag prop that makes loud, empty noises when one sits on them. This profound piece of pathetic paraphernalia takes a back seat to Goldberg, who does her namesake item one better. Unlike the cushion, Goldberg makes loud, empty noises with little prompting or actions by anyone. Goldberg, like the cushion, is nothing but an illustration of the mentality level that pervades the liberal entertainment and media groups of this society. Somewhere along the line, somebody decided that being successful in Hollywood or entertainment in general gave one both a significant voice in world and national affairs and the mind to back that voice up, neither of which is true. In fact, if anything, the Radio City event merely demonstrated the imbecilic, vulgar, clueless, lewd, and very anti-God nature of The New Order and its entertainment/media arms. Upon being dropped as spokesperson for a popular diet product due to her vulgar rampage, Goldberg noted that she was just doing what she had to do "as an artist, a writer, and American, and not to mention a comedian". I did not know that being blatantly vulgar, lewd and obscene was something anyone had to do as an artist, writer, comedian or an American!
Who is the Cushion?
If Goldberg is the empty, shrill whoopee in the partnership, who is the cushion?
Why New Order poster boy "Catholic" John Kerry, of course. Applauding the disgusting show before him and laughing at Goldberg's stupidity, Kerry later thanked the performers, and claimed that "every performer tonight…conveyed to you the heart and soul of our country." I am not sure if the "heart and soul" of America is a series of vulgar remarks coupled with lewd hand gestures! It seems more like the bowels and armpits of America to me! The next day, our steadfast Kerry told AP that some of the performers, "in our judgment, went over a line that neither of us would choose to go over. But we understand their anger."
How Catholic! First Kerry has a ball enjoying imbecilic vulgarity, and then he praises it publicly, followed by claiming that it went too far 24 hours later. We must recall that Kerry incredibly admitted that he felt life began at conception just a few days before the Radio City event, thereby practically stating that his Pro-Choice position was nothing more than a Pro-Murder and Pro-Election stance. I guess it is common Catholic practice to praise offensive, lewd language, then slightly rebuke it, then slightly justify it, all while condoning murder! What does a cushion do? Why it softens things and makes them more comfortable! Is that not what Mr. Kerry is always doing? He softens evil and sin and makes it more comfortable to himself, to those who spin it, and to those who face it.
In addition, Kerry and his ilk seek a faith which is as comfortable as a cushion, not forcing the hard seat of morality, virtue, integrity, and respect for God's laws on anyone since those things are a tough seat to sit on. It is because of all of these things that John Kerry makes the perfect cushion for sin and the perfect cushion against morality!
In fact, the more I see John Kerry in action, the more I am convinced that he is the ultimate artist! He has variously demonstrated unique skills in all forms of art, albeit in the service of sin, spin, and perdition. He's a veritable chameleon of characters. Consider:
Kerry the Sculptor
Our "hero" has clearly used his chisel of spin and his hammer of political correctness to turn the true nature of the Catholic Faith into a disfigured, distorted corruption of its original true beauty and clear expression of God's Will and Word. True, he is neither the first nor the last to sculpt sin from virtue, for we all have in some way. However, he is the present leading artist in the school of Public Sculpturing of Sin and a leading present proponent of the school of calling sin art. Present Kerry with any beautiful work of God's Artistic Expression of Creation, Will, or Word, and he will surely turn it into an unrecognizable blob in no time! Kerry seems intent on sculpting each Catholic Sacrament into his own twisted, distorted version of reality!
Kerry the Painter
The canvas is no stranger to our "moral" Michelangelo, for he can surely paint scenes of public sin in a uniquely unashamedly brash style. His strokes, his tone, and his use of distortion and rationalization are key elements in the masterpieces of perdition which he has painted. While he personally believes in oil painting, he does not wish to impose that style on anyone and respects the rights and choice of all people to use the kind of materials which they are most comfortable with. He has constantly supported the separation of oils and watercolors, sketches and drafts, and politics and morality. It is Kerry's kind of diluted dribble which is taking our Faith into a blue period which seems quite surreal.
Kerry the Carver
Mr. Kerry can take any issue and carve out a niche for his unique brand of morality, virtue, honesty, and loyalty to his supposed faith. Given embarrassing evidence of vulgarity, inappropriate comments, or outrageous claims from supporters, Kerry can carve a beautiful, comfortable piece of art suitable for sinning. Evidence the shindig in New York otherwise known as "Goldberg's Gomorrah!" In view of Kerry's Pro-Choice, Pro-Feminist, and Pro-Sodomite stances, it is clear that Mr. Kerry is particularly adept at carving babies out of wombs, carving femininity out of women, carving morality out of the family, and carving the truth out of his practice and views.
Kerry the Musician
Our artist can handle any instruments of sin presented to him and play serenades of sacrilege, ballads of blasphemy, rhythms of rationalization and relativism, polkas of politics, waltzes of wantonness, and concertos of cowardice with distinct, satanic clarity. Pulling his strings of political connections and poking at his notes in the key of sin, Mr. Kerry is a veritable Pied Piper of Perdition! Sadly for Mr. Kerry, his sinphony may seem like music to many ears, but it is clearly out of tune with God!
Kerry the Dancer
The soft-shoe maestro Fred Astaire has nothing on nimble John Forbes K., who can tip-toe and waltz with the best of them. His fox trots around responsibility and jitterbugs through morality are quickly becoming what sinful legends are made of. Who can forget his twists to avoid culpability, his tangos through the Sacraments, and his mambos with the media? Like some Irish river dancer on Broadway, Kerry has kept hopping to the music of modernism and hopes to take his dance routine all the way to the Great White House in a jig toward perdition!
Kerry the Actor
Perhaps one of Kerry's greatest gifts is his ability to pretend, to portray, and to imitate. He has made a career of pretending, portraying, and imitating everything from being a Catholic, a war hero, a virtuous statesman, a sincere social thinker, a protector of children (! ?) and women, a proponent of sound education, to being a judge of the virtue and values of America. He is currently performing for some of the best directors in sin, such as Planned Parenthood, NOW, NARAL, and other outstanding leaders of perdition. Kerry reminds us all that this world is merely a stage and we are merely actors on that stage. The only difference here is that Kerry's play has a limited engagement and God's play will run eternally. Hey, John, break a commandment!
Kerry the Entertainer
No wonder this chameleon blended so well with the barbarians at the New York farce on July 8th. Like attracts like.
What better way to summarize the unique, legendary, classic talents of this man than to merely classify him as the New Order Entertainer that he really is! His artistic abilities listed above combined with his style, poise(on), and free-wheeling morality make John Kerry the poster boy for Hollywood's unique brand of ethics, spirituality, and spin.
You have to admit that having this giant of Catholicism running for President of the United States certainly has provided tons of interesting and enlightening moments for all, especially anyone having a clue about true Catholic faith, doctrine, and belief. All we need to do is sit back, listen to Kerry's performances, and then watch who gives him a standing ovation, flowers, a round of applause, a sweet, soft interview, and the Holy Eucharist to see who is with man and who is with God. Incredibly, Kerry's greatest gift has been his ability to provide a nice litmus test for who is clueless and who has some clue.
Kerry the Commiedian
Not that Hanoi Jane Fonda was ever funny, but it looks like she had an influence on our flip-flop philanderer who is on record as once being a communist sympathizer. There is also a rumor that, when asked how one could ever get to hell, Mr. Kerry smugly answered, "Practice, practice, practice". Those are lines Whoopie could use instead of her tired trash-mouth routine that is as stale as the rest of the obscene comedians who think they're funny but few are laughing with them, only at them for their pathetic pagan ways. The applause and addled adulation will one day die out and the lights will come up and voila! - they'll realize it was all in vain. The saddest part of it all, that's no joke!
Conclusion
Whoopie Goldberg and John Kerry make a perfect pairing because they convey the true nature of the petition for perdition and the sin and spin of the liberal, secular, modernist, feminist, sodomite, anti-God forces of The New Order and its entertainment and media arms. These two arms reach out and regularly seek to strangle the morality, the decency, the respect, the virtue, and the truth out of this lost society. Goldberg's empty rants are merely the imbecilic, clueless noise made when morality, respect, integrity, and virtue try to sit on Kerry's cushion of cavalier comfort which leads to sin and perdition. Many in this lost society heap praise on these two as paragons of achievement, ability, integrity, honesty, and passion for this country. The media lavishes praise for their good works and charitable efforts while concealing any evidence of their vice, spin, and misinformation. The best that can be said of this pathetic pairing is that they deserve each other and that their partnership, unlike the whoopee cushion, is not a trivial gag. It is a clear example of the way in which decency, truth, morality, and respect for God has become a joke in this lost society. The last laugh, however, will be on these clueless fools of petition for perdition and spin for sin.
Gabriel Garnica
Editor's Note: Heaven is once again under attack by those who would seek to ignore and overthrow God's majesty and authority. Gabriel Garnica, educator and attorney, submits regular insights and commentaries to remind and help guide readers toward a deeper and more assertive faith. Touching on topics and issues ranging from personal faith, doctrine, education, scripture, the media, family life, morality, and values, Gabriel's notes are music to traditional ears but unpleasant tones to those who have bought into the misguided notions so prevalent and spreading in today's Catholic world.
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