The Lighter Side

     Ah, the great malaprop! Headline writers can be guilty of this at times and below we bring you some gems for a chuckle or two or three. Some are ridiculous, some are hilarious, and some make no sense whatsoever. But then one man's humor is another's doldrums and vice versa, but God wants us all to laugh as we continue our journey to Heaven so have a good one on us and enjoy some of these malaprop headlines: Below are twenty of forty headlines, the remaining twenty will be in next week's issue.

Headline heckles that can raise the hackles: First Part

Include Your Children When Baking Cookies


Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says


Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers


Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted


Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case


Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents


Iraqi Head Seeks Arms


Is There a Ring of Debris Around Uranus?


Prostitutes Appeal to Pope


Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over


British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands


Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms


Eye Drops Off Shelf


Teacher Strikes Idle Kids


Clinton Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead


Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax


Plane Too Close To Ground, Crash Probe Told


Miners Refuse to Work After Death


Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant


Stolen Painting Found by Tree

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November 19, 1997 volume 8, no. 34         DAILY CATHOLIC - The Lighter Side