DAILY CATHOLIC for February 11
The Lighter Side
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vol, 9
no. 30

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Heaven!

      Today we bring you the second part of the "Q" puzzlers we brought you last week with the second set of twenty five more to conjure up guffaws as well as blank looks, but sure to get you thinking. One that isn't necessarily funny, but really hits home with reflection is the fact that War doesn't determine who's right, just who's left. Most of the others below will give you the same kind of reflection or a chuckle. Depends on where you're coming from and, more importantly, where you're going!

More Questions to ponder by pandering these pundits...or: Didja ever just wonder why...
  • If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
  • When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?
  • Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not adoor?
  • Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
  • How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
  • If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is the opposite of progress?
  • Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?
  • How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?
  • Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?
  • Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?
  • Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
  • Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?
  • Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
  • Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
  • What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
  • Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
  • Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent?
  • Is boneless chicken considered to be an invertebrate?
  • Do married people live longer than single people or does it just SEEM longer?
  • I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
  • If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?
  • Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
  • Sooner or later, doesn't EVERYONE stop smoking?
  • Isn't the best way to save face to keep the lower part shut?
  • If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys
    and apes?

February 11, 1998 volume 9, no. 30
A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Heaven!



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