DAILY CATHOLIC for December 10
The Lighter Side
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vol, 8
no. 49

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Heaven!

    With the response of our headline malaprops, we follow up with bloopers, malaprops and typos that actually appeared in church bulletins throughout the country. Their faux pais are listed below for a chuckle or two or three. Some are ridiculous, some are hilarious, and some make no sense whatsoever. But then one man's humor is another's doldrums and vice versa, but God wants us all to laugh as we continue our journey to Heaven so have a good one on us and enjoy some of these Bulletin Bloopers and pray for the bulletin person who typed them. We're sure they heard no end to their faux pais.

Classic Church Bulletin BloopersPart One

  • 1) Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

  • 2) The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.

  • 3) The Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.

  • 4) Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

  • 5) The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.

  • 6) The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.

  • 7) Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7:00 to 8:30 p.m. Please use the back door.

  • 8) Ushers will eat latecomers.

  • 9) The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.

  • 10) For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

  • 11) The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.

  • 12) The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."

  • 13) During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.

  • 14) Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience."

  • 15) Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.

  • 16) Stewardship Offertory: "Jesus Paid It All"

December 10, 1997 volume 8, no. 49
A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Heaven!

December 1997