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FRI-SAT-SUN March 17-19, 2000 volume 11, no. 54 |
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In honor of Saint Patrick's Day, we present the autobiographical confession written by Saint Patrick himself, in Latin, around the year 450. It offers a unique record of life in the British Isles during those times. While many watched the special on Fox Family on the famed saint last Sunday and Thursday night, this is more true to the true mindset and soul of this holy man. Patrick was born in England or Scotland, kidnapped and sold into slavery in Ireland as a teen, escaping probably to northern France, and returning to Ireland as a missionary after a prophetic dream. The rest, as they say, is history. The astonishing thing is that this record of Patrick's own words have surfaced and now available after over a millennium and a half!!! Today in 2000 his words as a loyal bishop ring true as we present this special on the "Apostle of Ireland."
I, Patrick, a sinner, a most simple countryman, the least of all the
faithful and most contemptible to many, had for father the deacon
Calpurnius, son of the late Potitus, a priest, of the settlement
[vicus] of Bannavem Taburniae; he had a small villa nearby where I was
taken captive. I was at that time about sixteen years of age. I did
not, indeed, know the true God; and I was taken into captivity in
Ireland with many thousands of people, according to our deserts, for
quite drawn away from God, we did not keep his precepts, nor were we
obedient to our priests who used to remind us of our salvation. And
the Lord brought down on us the fury of his being and scattered us
among many nations, even to the ends of the earth, where I, in my
smallness, am now to be found among foreigners.
And there the Lord opened my mind to an awareness of my unbelief, in
order that, even so late, I might remember my transgressions and turn
with all my heart to the Lord my God, who had regard for my
insignificance and pitied my youth and ignorance. And he watched over
me before I knew him, and before I learned sense or even distinguished
between good and evil, and he protected me, and consoled me as a
father would his son.
Therefore, indeed, I cannot keep silent, nor would it be proper, so
many favours and graces has the Lord deigned to bestow on me in the
land of my captivity. For after chastisement from God, and recognizing
him, our way to repay him is to exalt him and confess his wonders
before every nation under heaven.
For there is no other God, nor ever was before, nor shall be
hereafter, but God the Father, unbegotten and without beginning, in
whom all things began, whose are all things, as we have been taught;
and his son Jesus Christ, who manifestly always existed with the
Father, before the beginning of time in the spirit with the Father,
indescribably begotten before all things, and all things visible and
invisible were made by him. He was made man, conquered death and was
received into Heaven, to the Father who gave him all power over every
name in Heaven and on Earth and in Hell, so that every tongue should
confess that Jesus Christ is Lord and God, in whom we believe. And we
look to his imminent coming again, the judge of the living and the
dead, who will render to each according to his deeds. And he poured
out his Holy Spirit on us in abundance, the gift and pledge of
immortality, which makes the believers and the obedient into sons of
God and co-heirs of Christ who is revealed, and we worship one God in
the Trinity of holy name.
He himself said through the prophet: 'Call upon me in the day of'
trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify me.' And again: 'It
is right to reveal and publish abroad the works of God.'
I am imperfect in many things, nevertheless I want my brethren and
kinsfolk to know my nature so that they may be able to perceive my
soul's desire.
I am not ignorant of what is said of my Lord in the Psalm: 'You
destroy those who speak a lie.' And again: 'A lying mouth deals death
to the soul.' And likewise the Lord says in the Gospel: 'On the day of
judgment men shall render account for every idle word they utter.'
So it is that I should mightily fear, with terror and trembling,
this judgment on the day when no one shall be able to steal away or
hide, but each and all shall render account for even our smallest sins
before the judgment seat of Christ the Lord.
And therefore for some time I have thought of writing, but I have
hesitated until now, for truly, I feared to expose myself to the
criticism of men, because I have not studied like others, who have
assimilated both Law and the Holy Scriptures equally and have never
changed their idiom since their infancy, but instead were always
learning it increasingly, to perfection, while my idiom and language
have been translated into a foreign tongue. So it is easy to prove
from a sample of my writing, my ability in rhetoric and the extent of
my preparation and knowledge, for as it is said, 'wisdom shall be
recognized in speech, and in understanding, and in knowledge and in
the learning of truth.'
But why make excuses close to the truth, especially when now I am
presuming to try to grasp in my old age what I did not gain in my
youth because my sins prevented me from making what I had read my own?
But who will believe me, even though I should say it again? A young
man, almost a beardless boy, I was taken captive before I knew what I
should desire and what I should shun. So, consequently, today I feel
ashamed and I am mightily afraid to expose my ignorance, because,
[not] eloquent, with a small vocabulary, I am unable to explain as the
spirit is eager to do and as the soul and the mind indicate.
But had it been given to me as to others, in gratitude I should not
have kept silent, and if it should appear that I put myself before
others, with my ignorance and my slower speech, in truth, it is
written: 'The tongue of the stammerers shall speak rapidly and
distinctly.' How much harder must we try to attain it, we of whom it
is said: 'You are an epistle of Christ in greeting to the ends of the
earth ... written on your hearts, not with ink but with the Spirit of
the living God.' And again, the Spirit witnessed that the rustic life
was created by the Most High.
I am, then, first of all, countryfied, an exile, evidently
unlearned, one who is not able to see into the future, but I know for
certain, that before I was humbled I was like a stone lying in deep
mire, and he that is mighty came and in his mercy raised me up and,
indeed, lifted me high up and placed me on top of the wall. And from
there I ought to shout out in gratitude to the Lord for his great
favours in this world and for ever, that the mind of man cannot
measure.
Therefore be amazed, you great and small who fear God, and you men
of God, eloquent speakers, listen and contemplate. Who was it summoned
me, a fool, from the midst of those who appear wise and learned in the
law and powerful in rhetoric and in all things? Me, truly wretched in
this world, he inspired before others that I could be-- if I would--
such a one who, with fear and reverence, and faithfully, without
complaint, would come to the people to whom the love of Christ brought
me and gave me in my lifetime, if I should be worthy, to serve them
truly and with humility.
According, therefore, to the measure of one's faith in the Trinity,
one should proceed without holding back from danger to make known the
gift of God and everlasting consolation, to spread God's name
everywhere with confidence and without fear, in order to leave behind,
after my death, foundations for my brethren and sons whom I baptized
in the Lord in so many thousands.
And I was not worthy, nor was I such that the Lord should grant his
humble servant this, that after hardships and such great trials, after
captivity, after many years, he should give me so much favour in these
people, a thing which in the time of my youth I neither hoped for nor
imagined.
But after I reached Ireland I used to pasture the flock each day
and I used to pray many times a day. More and more did the love of
God, and my fear of him and faith increase, and my spirit was moved so
that in a day [I said] from one up to a hundred prayers, and in the
night a like number; besides I used to stay out in the forests and on
the mountain and I would wake up before daylight to pray in the snow,
in icy coldness, in rain, and I used to feel neither ill nor any
slothfulness, because, as I now see, the Spirit was burning in me at
that time.
And it was there of course that one night in my sleep I heard a
voice saying to me: 'You do well to fast: soon you will depart for
your home country.' And again, a very short time later, there was a
voice prophesying: 'Behold, your ship is ready.' And it was not close
by, but, as it happened, two hundred miles away, where I had never
been nor knew any person. And shortly thereafter I turned about and
fled from the man with whom I had been for six years, and I came, by
the power of God who directed my route to advantage (and I was afraid
o nothing), until I reached that ship.
And on the same day that I arrived, the ship was setting out from
the place, and I said that I had the wherewithal to sail with them;
and the steersman was displeased and replied in anger, sharply: 'By no
means attempt to go with us.' Hearing this I left them to go to the
hut where I was staying, and on the way I began to pray, and before
the prayer was finished I heard one of them shouting loudly after me:
'Come quickly because the men are calling you.' And immediately I went
back to them and they started to say to me: 'Come, because we are
admitting you out of good faith; make friendship with us in any way
you wish.' (And so, on that day, I refused to suck the breasts of
these men from fear of God, but nevertheless I had hopes that they
would come to faith in Jesus Christ, because they were barbarians.)
And for this I continued with them, and forthwith we put to sea.
And after three days we reached land, and for twenty-eight days
journeyed through uninhabited country, and the food ran out and hunger
overtook them; and one day the steersman began saying: 'Why is it,
Christian? You say your God is great and all-powerful; then why can
you not pray for us? For we may perish of hunger; it is unlikely
indeed that we shall ever see another human being.' In fact, I said to
them, confidently: 'Be converted by faith with all your heart to my
Lord God, because nothing is impossible for him, so that today he will
send food for you on your road, until you be sated, because everywhere
he abounds.' And with God's help this came to pass; and behold, a herd
of swine appeared on the road before our eyes, and they slew many of
them, and remained there for two nights, and the were full of their
meat and well restored, for many of them had fainted and would
otherwise have been left half dead by the wayside. And after this they
gave the utmost thanks to God, and I was esteemed in their eyes, and
from that day they had food abundantly. They discovered wild honey,
besides, and they offered a share to me, and one of them said: 'It is
a sacrifice.' Thanks be to God, I tasted none of it.
The very same night while I was sleeping Satan attacked me
violently, as I will remember as long as I shall be in this body; and
there fell on top of me as it were, a huge rock, and not one of my
members had any force. But from whence did it come to me, ignorant in
the spirit, to call upon 'Helias'? And meanwhile I saw the sun rising
in the sky, and while I was crying out 'Helias, Helias' with all my
might, lo, the brilliance of that sun fell upon me and immediately
shook me free of all the weight; and I believe that I was aided by
Christ my Lord, and that his Spirit then was crying out for me, and I
hope that it will be so in the day of my affliction, just as it says
in the Gospel: 'In that hour', the Lord declares, 'it is not you who
speaks but the Spirit of your Father speaking in you.'
And a second time, after many years, I was taken captive. On the
first night I accordingly remained with my captors, but I heard a
divine prophecy, saying to me: 'You shall be with them for two
months. So it happened. On the sixtieth night the Lord delivered me
from their hands.
On the journey he provided us with food and fire and dry weather
every day, until on the tenth day we came upon people. As I mentioned
above, we had journeyed through an unpopulated country for
twenty-eight days, and in fact the night that we came upon people we
had no food.
And after a few 'ears I was again in Britain with my parents
[kinsfolk], and the welcomed me as a son, and asked me, in faith, that
after the great tribulations I had endured I should not go an where
else away from them. And, of course, there, in a vision of the night,
I saw a man whose name was Victoricus coming as it from Ireland with
innumerable letters, and he gave me one of them, and I read the
beginning of the letter: 'The Voice of the Irish', and as I was
reading the beginning of the letter I seemed at that moment to hear
the voice of those who were beside the forest of Foclut which is near
the western sea, and the were crying as if with one voice: 'We beg
you, holy youth, that you shall come and shall walk again among us.'
And I was stung intensely in my heart so that I could read no more,
and thus I awoke. Thanks be to God, because after so many ears the
Lord bestowed on them according to their cry.
And another night-- God knows, I do not, whether within me or
beside me-- ... most words + ... + which I heard and could not
understand, except at the end of the speech it was represented thus:
'He who gave his life for you, he it is who speaks within you.' And
thus I awoke, joyful.
And on a second occasion I saw Him praying within me, and I was as
it were, inside my own body , and I heard Him above me-- that is,
above my inner self. He was praying powerfully with sighs. And in the
course of this I was astonished and wondering, and I pondered who it
could be who was praying within me. But at the end of the prayer it
was revealed to me that it was the Spirit. And so I awoke and
remembered the Apostle's words: 'Likewise the Spirit helps us in our
weakness; for we know not how to pray as we ought. But the Spirit
Himself intercedes for us with sighs too deep for utterance.' And
again: 'The Lord our advocate intercedes for us.'
And then I was attacked by a goodly number of my elders, who
[brought up] my sins against my arduous episcopate. That day in
particular I was mightily upset, and might have fallen here and for
ever; but the Lord generously spared me, a convert, and an alien, for
his name's sake, and he came powerfully to my assistance in that state
of being trampled down. I pray God that it shall not be held against
them as a sin that I fell truly into disgrace and scandal.
They brought up against me after thirty years an occurrence I had
confessed before becoming a deacon. On account of the anxiety in my
sorrowful mind, I laid before my close friend what I had perpetrated
on a day-- nay, rather in one hour-- in my boyhood because I was not
yet proof against sin. God knows-- I do not-- whether I was fifteen
years old at the time, and I did not then believe in the living God,
nor had I believed, since my infancy; but I remained in death and
unbelief until I was severely rebuked, and in truth I was humbled
every day by hunger and nakedness.
See Part Two of Saint Patrick's Story

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March 17-19, 2000 volume 11, no. 55 SAINT PATRICK
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