OKTOBERFEST FOOD FOR THOUGHT APPETEASERS

      Today's dosage of dogma comes from EJB via e-mail and should really help all of us take better stock of all God has given us and not take Him for granted. They are simple questions that speak volumes in wisdom on the eve of a great Doctor of the Church who took these queries to heart in her heart and did something about it. Now it's our turn!

What if, GOD couldn't take the time to bless us today because we couldn't take the time to thank Him yesterday?

What if, GOD decided to stop leading us tomorrow because we didn't follow Him today?

What if, we never saw another flower bloom because we grumbled when GOD sent the rain?

What if, GOD didn't walk with us today because we failed to recognize it as His day?

What if, GOD took away the Bible tomorrow because we would not read it today?

What if, GOD took away His message because we failed to listen to the messenger?

What if, GOD didn't send His only begotten Son because He wanted us to be prepared to pay the price for sin.

What if, the door of the church was closed because we did not open the door of our heart?

What if, GOD stopped loving and caring for us because we failed to love and care for others?

What if, GOD would not hear us today because we would not listen to Him yesterday?

What if, GOD answered our prayers the way we answer His call to service?

What if, GOD met our needs the way we give Him our lives???

     And from GDS via e-mail comes these Catholic malaprops:

1. What did Galileo debate with the Church?
Solar Scriptura.

2. What does the Church call the heretical works of John Harris?
Harrisy.

3. Where can a Catholic discover Scottish Biblical roots?
In the Book of MacAbees.

4. If Calvinists and Lutherans took their faith's names from Calvin and Luther, what do we call followers of Zwingli?
How about being zwindled!

5. What disease will Hans Kung die of?
No disease; he'll just die of new age.

6. Who is the fastest runner in the world?
Adam; he was first in the human race.

7. Where do you lead Catholics out of the Church like cattle?
Down the Schism Trail.

8. How do you make holy water?
Boil the hell out of it.

9. Who does a dyslexic devil worshipper sell his soul to?
Santa.

10.How do monks communicate?
By cell phones.