My brother-in-law opened the bottom drawer of my sister's bureau and lifted
out a tissue-wrapped package. "This," he said, "is not a slip.. This is lingerie." He discarded
the tissue and handed me the slip. It was exquisite; silk, handmade and trimmed with a cobweb of lace. The price
tag with an astronomical figure on it was still attached. "Jan bought this the first time we went to
New York, at least 8 or 9 years ago. She never wore it. She was saving it for a special occasion. Well, I
guess this is the occasion." He took the slip from me and put it on the bed with the other clothes we were
taking to the mortician. His hands lingered on the soft material for a moment, then he slammed the drawer
shut and turned to me.
"Don't ever save anything for a special occasion. Every day you're alive is a
special occasion."
I remembered those words through the funeral and the days that followed when
I helped him and my niece attend to all the sad chores that follow an unexpected death. I
thought about them on the plane returning to California from the Midwest where my sister's family lives. I
thought about all the things that she hadn't seen or heard or done. I thought about the things that she had done
without realizing that they were special.
I'm still thinking about his words, and they've changed my life. I'm reading
more and dusting less. I'm sitting on the deck and admiring the view without fussing about the weeds
in the garden. I'm spending more time with my family and friends and less time in committee meetings.
Whenever possible, life should be a pattern of experience to savor, not endure. I'm trying to recognize
these moments now and cherish them. I'm not "saving" anything; we use our good china and crystal for every
special event-such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped, the first camellia blossom.
I wear my good blazer to the market if I feel like it. My theory is if I
look prosperous, I can shell out $28.49 for one small bag of groceries without wincing. I'm not saving my
good perfume for special parties; clerks in hardware stores and tellers in banks have noses that
function as well as my party-going friends'.
"Someday" and "one of these days" are losing their grip on my vocabulary. If
it's worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to see and hear and do it now. I'm not sure what my
sister would have done had she known that she wouldn't be here for the tomorrow we all take for granted.
I think she would have called family members and a few close friends. She might have called a few
former friends to apologize and mend fences for past squabbles. I like to think she would have gone out
for a Chinese dinner, her favorite food. I'm guessing-I'll never know. It's those little things left
undone that would make me angry if I knew that my hours were limited. Angry because I put off seeing good
Friends whom I was going to get in touch with-someday. Angry because I hadn't written certain letters
that I intended to write-one of these days. Angry and sorry that I didn't tell my husband and daughter often
enough how much I truly love them. I'm trying very hard not to put off, hold back, or save anything
that would add laughter and luster to our lives. And every morning when I open my eyes, I tell myself
that it is special. Every day, every minute, every breath truly is...a gift from God.
Yes, she is right, life is truly a gift from God and we must be grateful for our precious gift with every breath we take. We don't know when God will take that away, but until He does let's all savor and make the most of life so that when we are taken home we can face God with confidence that we did all He asked. God bless you.