The Lighter Side

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Heaven!

      Since today is TAX DAY, we thought we would bring you a taxing puzzle as we resume our weekly series of mid-week humor with Lent behind us. Today we bring you one that taxes the brain to find 45 books of the bible. Be careful, read carefully and cleverly and watch for spellings. All names are consecutive with no other alphabetical letters in between. All books are according to the Catholic Bible for both Old and New Testament. E-mail your answers to Daily CATHOLIC humor quiz and the winning entry will receive a prize. The answers will be published in these same pages next Wednesday so you've got a few days to figure all the books out. That's better than tax day where you've only got until midnight to get your tax returns in the mail. Can anyone say 1040 without wincing?

Can you find 45 books of the Bible in the following article?

      A guy named Jud expected to get through this puzzle in about five minutes, minutes, but he gave up because it was so puzzling!! Be careful, some are obvious, others are hidden. A world famous puzzle expert, Mr. Phil Emon, claimed that not all 45 book titles were in here. After careful review from a panel of judges from around the world, they have claimed that all of the books are within the story. A nervous Phil later was quoted as saying, "I still think I'm right!! Is a... I?... ah!!... I finally found it!!! Right in front of me all along!!!". Some may be obvious as a certain man named Matthew found out, others are harder to find.

      One helpful hint would be to remember to mark all the titles you find, and keep careful count of the numbers. For some reason, eating sandwiches with peanut and jam especially seems to help people find the hidden titles.

      The great italian chef, Christomalachi Aspumante, cried out in loud lamentations when he found his favorite customer, Hose, ate the famous sandwich with some colossian szacharia on his bread... Chef Aspumante later was fired from his job over it.

      To find a new bar, uchered as he was, he asked thes salon ians to recommend a good titus to a book. He figured since they were not against consonants but pro verbs, that they would know Jo, sue him and ruthlessly try to keep him from roman sea to shining sea. Yet, in his haste to come to, bias set in and he felt betrayed for he was no longer their pet err as he did judge so many. Finally, even though wisdom broke through the lukewarm attitudes so apalled were all, that the poor chef left a message with a big kiss from a para lip omen to all that they had done him wrong. They replied "Sir, ache not for us, you are in need of a drink." But he would have none of that and reprimanded them saying, "I have given you a verbatim, o thy scoundrels, what fun you hath made of me. Remember this: as he stews, he brews." But since there was no beer to be had in such a gala tiancillory-like setting, the beleagured chef with no prospect in the makings, decided to quit a most discouraging endeavor and resume a life of leviti, customers being what they are now days.

     The bugler sounded, he was playing taps. Alms were needed to help the chef get food. But none were found where he was so he thought of going home and listening to music and realized he can. "Ticles the ivory" was what he called his son's excellent instrumentals on the keyboard. Thus he returned home to his family and his wife Esther who made him his favorite dish Chicken Caciaclesiastes for supper. All meals were meager due to the eronomy. Even though he was a chef, he relished her fixing the zucchini and herbs as he listened to his oldest son Philip pianso away on the keys, playing his favorite music. The chef's other son Daniel danced and, while the family dog Jeremiah ate his apo, calypsed to the music in Carribean style. It was a fitting and just end to a very trying and difficult day in the life of Chef Aspumante as his niece Ana hummed the melody so Phonia the family cat could perch by the door of the john because Judith was brushing her teeth at the sink for she was known by her brothers as " the hygene sis."

      With the evening completed, so are we with this puzzle, so if you're having problems finding all the names, now is a good time for a mass exodus. You'll find the answers in next week's issue. See how many you can find and e-mail us with the answers. The winner will receive a prize.

April 15, 1998 volume 9, no. 73          DAILY CATHOLIC - The Lighter Side