DAILY CATHOLIC     FRI-SAT-SUN-MON     May 22-25, 1998     vol. 9, no. 100

SYMPHONY OF SUFFERING

To print out entire text of Today's issue, go to SECTION ONE and SECTION TWO
    INTRODUCTION
          With the messages for the world having been concluded three years ago, slowly the public "Hidden Flower of the Immaculate Heart" has been able to return to the fullness of being Cyndi Cain, wife and mother (roles she never abandoned even for a moment during the public years). However, after much prayer and discernment, she feels strongly that there is much God wishes her to share, for He continually teaches us in our hearts and with the grace of the Holy Spirit, we are to share, to learn, to grow and to be there for one another, as He is always there for us.

          In each weekend issue she hopes to find the time in a busy schedule of caring for a sick child, schooling another son, and the regular work of keeping up a home not to mention helping with the ministry, to write a few lines in sharing with all the experiences and lessons learned in her own introspection. Cyndi has chosen to call her few words, humble and poor in the face of the Almighty, "SYMPHONY OF SUFFERING", for He has placed these words in her heart. To suffer: How all hate the thought, and how, when one is a mother who is faced with the onset of an illness for which the cure may be years away we feel our hearts break in many places. Yet, God hears a beautiful melody here. The angels hear it, too, and so do the saints. The melody reaches to the Heavens and joins with the unending chorus of all the hosts of Heaven praising God. It is Cyndi's sincerest hope that perhaps, together with the reader, we can take our sufferings, which are different yet similar, and place them into this great hymn of praise to the Creator, our Lord, God and Savior, Jesus Christ, and learn to make beautiful music unto the Lord. Below is her second rendition.

A Mother's suffering can reach the highest notes in Heaven

          What wife and mother out there doesn't suffer? What greater sorrow can any mother have than to see a child suffer? During the years of the public ministry, those who came to know us believed, naively, that our children (we have two sons) were exempt from imperfections, for all manner of illness, disease and sin. I wanted so often to ask these people why they believed this, but I didn't. God told me that I would not get a true answer, and to bear all things patiently, for in time I would come to understand.

          I am coming now to understand. All in God's time, as He Wills, does He reveal what we need to know for our own good.

          Our sons suffered tremendous persecution, ridicule, and much, much more in the course of our public ministry. They were the "victims" also of ridiculous people who put all the emphasis on the messenger and never stopped long enough to pray over, meditate upon and discern the messages, which were the keynote of the apostolate then, never me.

          Now, these many years later, the fruit of that public ministry, the terrible mistreatment of our children by so many who professed to love in Christ's name, have born sufferings that tear at the heart and the emotions, that would otherwise shred faith into a gossamer scrap that would blow away so quickly one would never notice it going. Our oldest son has been given a great cross to bear, and we, as his parents, and I as his mother, bear that cross no less than he does. He has suffered a severe blow to the head some years ago, and was also treated with a new "antibiotic" which has since proved to be the cause of "psychotic" episodes that are irreversible. Because of these things, our oldest son is now totally enveloped in what I term "black cellophane" wherein he cannot find God, he cannot find the reason to live, to be happy over anything, to enjoy his teenage years, etc. Instead, he suffers from severe depression that has hospitalized him, and has literally brought my husband and I to the point of homelessness. His treatment will be ongoing until the Triumph of Mary's Immaculate Heart. He doesn't understand now that he will, one day, be better. He doesn't understand that the Triumph for which we work and pray is close at hand. He can't see that far ahead. Rather, our oldest son is caught in the web of the evil one's snares set and enacted by many along the way who sought us out not for God's Will, but for their own will.

          In all of this, I have learned also from God, as if the knowledge was placed in my heart in an instant, that it is all part of His Perfect Plan, and that, in the end, God shall claim the victory. In this suffering, as there must be in all suffering, there is a symphony at work. We, with our earthly ears, cannot hear the symphony being played. We hear the tears, see the pain, feel our own hearts breaking, have concerns, anxious moments and overburdened brains that are striving to make prudent decisions to keep our son well and keep a roof over our head at the same time. However, I believe that all suffering, if given to God, if united to the Passion of Our Lord, is a beautiful symphony that the angels hear and repeat before the throne of the Triune Divinity.

          It is not that we are not to cry, weep, hurt, and feel the anguish of illness and disease. If we didn't feel these things, then of what value would they be in redemptive suffering? However, we do not have to cry, weep, hurt, and feel anguish as people who are without hope. No matter how much it hurts, I am reminded that my hurt as a mother is a mere shadow of what Our Blessed Mother felt in her lifetime, and the pain that my son feels, that we share with him, is but a smattering of what Our Lord suffered in His Most Sacred Passion.

          I have learned that the greatest prayer is the one that comes from the will, not from the feelings, not because there's a spinning sun or a rosary turning gold in your hands as you pray, nor a statue of the Blessed Mother weeping a few feet in front of your face. The prayer that brings torrents of mercy upon us, and upon the world, is the prayer that rises from faith that seeks God who is Love, Mercy, Justice and all Hope and Trust.

          I am not saying that God's chosen messengers and visionaries do not have a role in His Perfect Plan. I am not saying that we shouldn't pay attention to apparitions and the messages from Heaven. Far from it! I am certain that God does not waste Time, and therefore if God deems it vital that Heaven speaks for the sake of mankind, then we, as His children, must pay attention and do what is being asked of us.

          I am saying, however, that the wonders and signs we all hunger for are there, and they are extra graces from God, like icing on the cake of grace. However, they are not the platform upon which faith rests, nor should they be. Like icicles on a sunny day, these "extraordinary" signs and wonders can soon melt away in the blithering distractions, lukewarmness, and cold-heartedness of the human condition. Real faith, the faith the blazes like a shooting star in the night sky, that is the lamp kept lit by the wise virgins, foregoes any desire to seek or chase or follow after signs and wonders, but waits with expectant hope for the promises of Christ to be fulfilled. Real faith is the faith that sees God's hand in all suffering accepts the suffering and unites that suffering to His Sacred Passion. It is real faith that sees the injuries done to one, or to one's sons, and husband, and real faith that prays for the grace to forgive as Christ forgives. Real faith embarks upon each day with renewed hope and trust and love, and keeps the ship of faith floating toward the Heavenly Shore, even though the lighthouse (Christ) may seem far away, and even camouflaged.

          Until next time, I most humbly ask that you keep all of my family and myself in your prayers, and I assure you that never have I stopped praying for all of your.

Cyndi Cain


May 22-24, 1998       volume 9, no. 100
Today's Catholic Pewpoint Editorial

DAILY CATHOLIC

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