For five years in our print publication A CALL TO PEACE my humble
contribution were the messages given to me by Our Lord and His Blessed
Mother for all the world. I was only an instrument, the "ink in the pen"
for God's words to be given to everyone. Our Lord had told me, through
locution, even before the public messages began that in His Heart He called
me the Hidden Flower of the Immaculate Heart.
From the first moment of the first public message until the last one
received on the Feast of Corpus Christi in June 1995, there was a certain
"celebrity" status given to me, a status I neither sought, desired, nor one
that I particularly liked. During those years it was, at times, very
painful being a "locutionist" for many were those who literally hung upon
every word I spoke, never understanding that I was but a child of God, a
fallible human being, a sinner just as everyone else is and was. They
couldn't understand that the moments of the locutions were a gift given by
God, controlled totally by God, and my only role in them was to obey God
fully, to discern, test and then to write what I heard God speak to me.
There was much suffering for my family and me during those years,
sufferings that were pertinent to the role God asked of us, and of me.
There were many then that said to us, to me, that it must be wonderful
having God talk to you each and every day, directing your path at every
instance. They didn't understand the cross that went with the gift. The
failed to see the "thorn with the rose". Even more, they didn't understand
that with the gift came the added responsibility of doing more, giving
more, being answerable to God for the gift that was His, never mine.
It has been nearly three years since the daily messages stopped. No more
public messages. Have I ceased being God's Hidden Flower of the Immaculate
Heart? God has not said so to me, but I know in my heart that I have not.
For what He sees in us is the ultimate of His perfection, the cause and joy
of His mercy. I am still Cyndi, still a wife, and a mother. The days and
months and years now which have passed without the constant gift of
interior and exterior locution have proven to me how much greater a gift it
is to "not" hear in this extraordinary way, but to have faith which
believes even though it does not "see."
I have learned that there are far, far too many of us who seek for the
supernatural in an extraordinary way, who chase after messengers and
messages, not because we find God there, but because we find a kind of
quick fix to our current situation. We want instant gratification, some
assurance that we're going to be okay, no matter what events occur in the
I have learned that the sufferings of those years when the messages were
daily, around the clock with God, was the basis upon which the sufferings
of the ensuing years without the messages rested.
Somehow, I came to know from the many people I met in those public years
somehow mistakenly believed that my husband, my children and I did not
suffer, for we had supernatural signs and wonders going on all the time.
They felt that we were elevated above our human nature, above the laws of
human nature, and that we were "privileged" to "float in a supernatural
This, of course, was far, far from the truth. And, in time, when those
who flocked to us realized that we were still in our humanity, still in our
weaknesses and faults, they deserted not only us, but the ministry, seeking
"greener" pastures where another "messenger" or "visionary" might just
carry them along on the "supernatural ride" they believed God's messengers
Would that all could know how greater is the grace, how greater is the
gift that is now - for there is only faith that keeps us moving forward. A
faith that has absolute trust and confidence in God, and a faith that is
motivated not by signs and wonders, but by love for perfect Love-God!
The sufferings have not ceased by any means. They have changed. They
have even increased. The sufferings are there not as punishment, but as a grace from God to
help us on our path of salvation, and to assist so many other countless
souls provided we, of course, unite all we are asked to do and bear by God
to the Most Sacred and Sorrowful Passion of Our Lord Jesus Christ.
Until next time when I will detail the sufferings of a mother, I most humbly ask that you keep all of my family and myself in your prayers, and I assure you that never have I stopped praying
for all of you.