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So, how is it that in Ireland, where they never had any knowledge
of God but, always, until now, cherished idols and unclean things,
they are lately become a people of the Lord, and are called children
of God; the sons of. the Irish [Scotti] and the daughters of the
chieftains are to be seen as monks and virgins of Christ.
And there was, besides, a most beautiful, blessed, native-born
noble Irish [Scotta] woman of adult age whom I baptized; and a few
days later she had reason to come to us to intimate that she had
received a prophecy from a divine messenger [who] advised her that she
should become a virgin of Christ and she would draw nearer to
God. Thanks be to God, six days from then, opportunely and most
eagerly, she took the course that all virgins of God take, not with
their fathers' consent but enduring the persecutions and deceitful
hindrances of their parents. Notwithstanding that, their number
increases, (we do not know the number of them that are so reborn)
besides the widows, and those who practise self-denial. Those who are
kept in slavery suffer the most. They endure terrors and constant
threats, but the Lord has given grace to many of his handmaidens, for
even though they are forbidden to do so, still they resolutely follow
his example.
So it is that even if I should wish to separate from them in order
to go to Britain, and most willingly was I prepared to go to my
homeland and kinsfolk-- and not only there, but as far as Gaul to
visit the brethren there, so that I might see the faces of the holy
ones of my Lord, God knows how strongly I desired this-- I am bound by
the Spirit, who witnessed to me that if I did so he would mark me out
as guilty, and I fear to waste the labour that I began, and not I, but
Christ the Lord, who commanded me to come to be with them for the rest
of my life, if the Lord shall will it and shield me from every evil,
so that I may not sin before him.
So I hope that I did as I ought, but I do not trust myself as long
as I am in this mortal body, for he is strong who strives daily to
turn me away from the faith and true holiness to which I aspire until
the end of my life for Christ my Lord, but the hostile flesh is always
dragging one down to death, that is, to unlawful attractions. And I
know in part why I did not lead a perfect life like other believers,
but I confess to my Lord and do not blush in his sight, because I am
not lying; from the time when I came to know him in my youth, the love
of God and fear of him increased in me, and right up until now, by
God's favour, I have kept the faith.
What is more, let anyone laugh and taunt if he so wishes. I am not
keeping silent, nor am I hiding the signs and wonders that were shown
to me by the Lord many years before they happened, [he] who knew
everything, even before the beginning of time.
Thus, I should give thanks unceasingly to God, who frequently
forgave my folly and my negligence, in more than one instance so as
not to be violently angry with me, who am placed as his helper, and I
did not easily assent to what had been revealed to me, as the Spirit
was urging; and the Lord took pity on me thousands upon thousands of
times, because he saw within me that I was prepared, but that I was
ignorant of what to do in view of my situation; because many were
trying to prevent this mission. They were talking among themselves
behind my back, and saying: 'Why is this fellow throwing himself into
danger among enemies who know not God?' Not from malice, but having no
liking for it; likewise, as I myself can testify, they perceived my
rusticity. And I was not quick to recognize the grace that was then in
me; I now know that I should have done so earlier.
Now I have put it frankly to my brethren and co-workers, who have
believed me because of what I have foretold and still foretell to
strengthen and reinforce your faith. I wish only that you, too, would
make greater and better efforts. This will be my pride, for 'a wise
son makes a proud father'.
You know, as God does, how I went about among you from my youth in
the faith of truth and in sincerity of heart. As well as to the
heathen among whom I live, I have shown them trust and always show
them trust. God knows I did not cheat any one of them, nor consider
it, for the sake of God and his Church, lest I arouse them and [bring
about] persecution for them and for all of us, and lest the Lord's
name be blasphemed because of me, for it is written: 'Woe to the men
through whom the name of the Lord is blasphemed.'
For even though I am ignorant in all things, nevertheless I
attempted to safeguard some and myself also. And I gave back again to
my Christian brethren and the virgins of Christ and the holy women the
small unasked for gifts that they used to give me or some of their
ornaments which they used to throw on the altar. And they would be
offended with me because I did this. But in the hope of eternity, I
safeguarded myself carefully in all things, so that they might not
cheat me of my office of service on any pretext of dishonesty, and so
that I should not in the smallest way provide any occasion for
defamation or disparagement on the part of unbelievers.
What is more, when I baptized so many thousands of people, did I
hope for even half a jot from any of them? [If so] Tell me, and I will
give it back to you. And when the Lord ordained clergy everywhere by
my humble means, and I freely conferred office on them, if I asked any
of them anywhere even for the price of one shoe, say so to my face and
I will give it back.
More, I spent for you so that they would receive me. And I went
about among you, and everywhere for your sake, in danger, and as far
as the outermost regions beyond which no one lived, and where no one
had ever penetrated before, to baptize or to ordain clergy or to
confirm people. Conscientiously and gladly I did all this work by
God's gift for your salvation.
From time to time I gave rewards to the kings, as well as making
payments to their sons who travel with me; notwithstanding which, they
seized me with my companions, and that day most avidly desired to kill
me. But my time had not yet come. They plundered everything they found
on us anyway, and fettered me in irons; and on the fourteenth day the
Lord freed me from their power, and whatever they had of ours was
given back to us for the sake of God on account of the indispensable
friends whom we had made before.
Also you know from experience how much I was paying to those who
were administering justice in all the regions, which I visited
often. I estimate truly that I distributed to them not less than the
price of fifteen men, in order that you should enjoy my company and I
enjoy yours, always, in God. I do not regret this nor do I regard it
as enough. I am paying out still and I shall pay out more. The Lord
has the power to grant me that I may soon spend my own self, for your
souls.
Behold, I call on God as my witness upon my soul that I am not
lying; nor would I write to you for it to be an occasion for flattery
or selfishness, nor hoping for honour from any one of you. Sufficient
is the honour which is not yet seen, but in which the heart has
confidence. He who made the promise is faithful; he never lies.
But I see that even here and now, I have been exalted beyond
measure by the Lord, and I was not worthy that he should grant me
this, while I know most certainly that poverty and failure suit me
better than wealth and delight (but Christ the Lord was poor for our
sakes; I certainly am wretched and unfortunate; even if I wanted
wealth I have no resources, nor is it my own estimation of myself, for
daily I expect to be murdered or betrayed or reduced to slavery if the
occasion arises. But I fear nothing, because of the promises of
Heaven; for I have cast myself into the hands of Almighty God, who
reigns everywhere. As the prophet says: 'Cast your burden on the Lord
and he will sustain you.'
Behold now I commend my soul to God who is most faithful and for
whom I perform my mission in obscurity, but he is no respecter of
persons and he chose me for this service that I might be one of the
least of his ministers.
For which reason I should make return for all that he returns
me. But what should I say, or what should I promise to my Lord, for I,
alone, can do nothing unless he himself vouchsafe it to me. But let
him search my heart and [my] nature, for I crave enough for it, even
too much, and I am ready for him to grant me that I drink of his
chalice, as he has granted to others who love him.
Therefore may it never befall me to be separated by my God from his
people whom he has won in this most remote land. I pray God that he
gives me perseverance, and that he will deign that I should be a
faithful witness for his sake right up to the time of my passing.
And if at any time I managed anything of good for the sake of my
God whom I love, I beg of him that he grant it to me to shed my blood
for his name with proselytes and captives, even should I be left
unburied, or even were my wretched body to be torn limb from limb by
dogs or savage beasts, or were it to be devoured by the birds of the
air, I think, most surely, were this to have happened to me, I had
saved both my soul and my body. For beyond any doubt on that day we
shall rise again in the brightness of the sun, that is, in the glory
of Christ Jesus our Redeemer, as children of the living God and
co-heirs of Christ, made in his image; for we shall reign through him
and for him and in him.
For the sun we see rises each day for us at [his] command, but it
will never reign, neither will its splendour last, but all who worship
it will come wretchedly to punishment. We, on the other hand, shall
not die, who believe in and worship the true sun, Christ, who will
never die, no more shall he die who has done Christ's will, but will
abide for ever just as Christ abides for ever, who reigns with God the
Father Almighty and with the Holy Spirit before the beginning of time
and now and for ever and ever. Amen.
Behold over and over again I would briefly set out the words of my
confession. I testify in truthfulness and gladness of heart before God
and his holy angels that I never had any reason, except the Gospel and
his promises, ever to have returned to that nation from which I had
previously escaped with difficulty.
But I entreat those who believe in and fear God, whoever deigns to
examine or receive this document composed by the obviously unlearned
sinner Patrick in Ireland, that nobody shall ever ascribe to my
ignorance any trivial thing that I achieved or may have expounded that
was pleasing to God, but accept and truly believe that it would have
been the gift of God. And this is my confession before I die.
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