We are going to have hell to pay...and that's no lie!
With apologies to canines, purists, and aficionadoes of the first of the fourth month everywhere we write this editorial. You may wonder where we spent our one week sabbatical. Well, we just returned from an exclusive private audience with the Holy Father at Castel Gandolfo last week where he personally told us he is going to declare the Dogma of the Blessed Virgin Mary as Advocate, Co-Redemptrix and Mediatrix of all graces on the feast of the Queenship of Mary. In addition he has personally invited us to accompany him to Medjugore in September when he will declare Medjugorje official, giving it the same status as Lourdes and Fatima. He has prepared a special encyclical that will be released next month which returns the Tabernacle to the center of all churches, returns Latin to the liturgy, eliminates Extraordinary ministers of the Eucharist and altar girls, and insists bishops remove all liberal programs from parishes within their dioceses. The encyclical will also institute perpetual adoration in each parish. Bishops have indicated to him that they want Daily Confession in every parish before and after every Mass and they anticipate the churches will be full and vocations will flourish. In addition, all Catholic schools are to be once again tuition free, with a strict, traditional Roman Catholic curriculum and special teaching nuns in full-flowing habits will be utilized to foster the faith as it once was when the parochial school system flourished. He also stipulates that from henceforth all pilgrimages to Medjugorje and Rome as well as Fatima, Lourdes, Betania, etc. will be afforded a special 50% discount through the Jubilee 2000 celebrations. All major airlines and hotels have agreed to this. Plus, he will hold a special canonization this fall for Padre Pio, Sister Faustina, and Mother Teresa.
Are you beginning to wonder what's going on? Oh, I forgot to tell you "I mislead you." I had this wish list and so I fabricated all of the above to protect my Church, and I deeply regret having to admit that to you. Not that I think that's wrong because lying has become so accepted in today's society that I imagine you'll just look the other way and say, "oh well, it's a free daily publication so we don't want to rock the boat." Like someone else we all know, who's been in the news a lot over the six plus years of his administration, we figured the reader would buy anything we say if we put on the emotions and cleverly couch our words to intimate threat and intimidation. Sorry, folks - we don't want sympathy. And neither should the country offer sympathy or excuses for the aberrations being foisted upon us by the president of the United States - an office that should exhibit the highest moral character of all. What we did in the above paragraph was wrong and, unlike Bill Clinton we will apologize and promise it will never happen again. We did so not for selfish reasons, but to bring home a point - an important point that, sadly, so many citizens seemed to have missed by burying their heads in the sand. Another president Abraham Lincoln, who is the difference of day and night between our present chief of staff, is credited with saying "You can fool all of the people some of the time; some of the people all of the time; but never all of the people all of the time!" How right he was. The one thing he missed, however, is that you can never fool God - not some of the time or even once! He knows all and he knows what is in Clinton's heart; He knows when Clinton lies even if the majority of gullible Americans don't. What gets us is that so many express the concern that the economy is good so why mess with a good thing, let Clinton do what he wants - even if he is deceiving the country like no leader of this nation ever has. Well, folks, here's an eye opener for you from the political side of things: Bill Clinton has nothing to do with the great economy! He inherited the economic windfall from past administrations for it takes years and years for causes and effects to take effect. After all, look at his record and all he has done is veto bills that would be good for the soul of America and pass bills that cry to the Heavens for avenging. So don't, for a minute, think that joker in the oval office, who has diminished the prestige and reverence for the highest office in the land, can take credit, but he does. After all just more lies. He is the foster child of the father of lies and, as Our Lady prophesied in early 1991, we would elect someone in our country who would take us to perdition. We stand at the brink of the abyss right now.
We're referrring, of course, to our souls. But our bodies may be in peril, too, for, to offset scrutiny against him he has done what he has always done and what satan thrives on: create a diversion. In this case it is both lashing out at those who would dare criticize him and/or rustle up a war to divert attention away. Case in point are his actions in Afghanistan and Sudan, two trouble spots that have been festering for years but only conveniently became crucial on Thursday, two days after polls began to show an erosion in his popularity among the dunderheads who are polled - if such an animal exists. We ask again, do you know anyone who has ever been polled? His hawkish actions jeopardizes not only countless military personnel overseas but Americans safe and cozy in their own homes. Terrorism is once again on the rise and it is a known fact that followers of Islam consider the United States the great satan. They first coined that in Iran under Khomeini and then parroted that during the gulf war in Iraq. They were referring back then to a country led by President Jimmy Carter, Ronald Reagan, and George Bush respectively - all men who conducted themselves with decorum and class. Little did we know the Moslems were prophetic and that the great satan now sits behind the desk in the oval office! And this "great satan" is taking the nation down a very delicate, dangerous road - offering up innocent young men and women and the conscience of America in order to thwart the attention away from his own immoral actions and consequences. The consequences could be apocryphal for this country and the world for this isn't just a "Wag the Dog" - a make-believe war scenario - but a very real caldron of tension that could boil over into a full-scale war not only between America and terrorists, but a united Islam front as well. With all the lies Clinton has spun, who is to believe anything he says - especially concerning the security of our country? It is a known fact that after Reagan and Bush built up a powerful military force, Clinton has relished decimating it. Who knows what calibre of force we have and whether it has any teeth left. It is highly doubtful the tragedies that occurred at two U.S. embassies last week would have happened with a "full time" competent military intelligence. Clinton should take full blame for allowing it to happen, especially in light of the fact he admitted his intelligence sources knew the terrorists were planning something. But then, who's to believe him? He's cried "wolf" too many times. Clinton also is to blame for misleading millions for the sake of his own interests and immoral peccadillos at the expense of our country and its very soul!
The moral demise of America didn't begin with Bill Clinton but it did begin with his mentor - lucifer who has infiltrated every fabric of American culture from family to business to schools to churches. The latter is what we're concerned with most - especially the One, True, Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church. If most of the things listed in our prefabricated "wish-list" above were to come true, the Church would be in a better position to fend off the demoralization fallout, but alas, it isn't. Therefore, we must accept this as part of our cross and, as members of the Church Militant, resolve to attack the problem head on as Sister Mary Lucy Astuto in her column titled His conscience is his guide and my better half Cyndi Cain in her weekly article on the "Symphony of Suffering" entitled If we don't discard the hollow tones of immorality and lies, then our symphony falls flat express so eloquently in this weekend's issue. True to all the Blessed Mother has foretold, events in our country are rapidly approaching the times she conveyed. We have had "ten years of Mercy" which officially ends in September this year. This has been widely circulated and confirmed by that esteemed locutionist Father Don Stefano Gobbi. Many other messages point to the fall season this year as the time of a full-fledged chastisement that will culminate next year with the glorious and long-anticipated Triumph of the Immaculate Heart of Mary as Our Lady has predicted at Fatima and Medjugorje. Between that time and now, if we don't follow God's laws and His Church's teachings to the fullest, if we don't stand up to the relativism so prevalent in society and schools today, if we don't speak out against those who mock God by flaunting sin in His face, then we can be assured we are going to have hell to pay...and that's no lie!