DAILY CATHOLIC WEDNESDAY January 27, 1999 vol. 10, no. 18
JANUARY GEMS: FOOD FOR THOUGHT APPETEASERS
To print out entire text of Today's issue, go to SECTION ONE and SECTION TWO
Both of today's food for thought vignettes come from NL via e-mail. The first is a very short, but pertinent gif gift that should put our fears of the Y2K bug for, as you'll see in "Why worry about the Y2K bug when we have JC1*?" that we worry too much and don't trust enough. The second, entitled "Hooked, line and sinker!" is a bit about a pirate's fate and why we need to be careful and appreciative of whatever God sends our way. If we misuse His gifts and blessings, we can be blinded to His true purpose for us.
Why worry about the Y2K bug when we have JC1*?
Jesus and satan are having a heated argument over the Y2K bug. The devil is trying to convince Our Lord that he is a better programmer. This goes on for hours as Saint Peter looks on with a new group of recruits at the pearly gates who have gathered to see what is all the commotion about. Finally, Jesus sets forth a compromise - the best programmer gets the souls. Satan is hesitant but his pride gets the best of him and he decides to the deal.
They sit down at their respective computers and begin typing furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen for several hours straight. Seconds before the end of the competition the Y2K bug strikes and like a bolt of lightning, everything is shut down!
Naturally, satan is furious. He begins to fume, sparks flying from his red epidermis as his horns boil in anger. All that work and he had nothing to show for it because of the crash. He turns to Jesus and says, "oh, well, neither one of us have anything to show for it so all we've really lost is time."
Jesus looks back at him with a knowing smile that penetrates the devil's bones in sending shivers through the eternal bad angel as he hears St. Peter and the others murmuring in the background.
Just then Our Lord enters a command and the screen comes to life in a colorful display with the voices of an angelic choir pouring forth in melodic harmony from the speakers.
Satan is astonished and dumbfounded. He turns toward St. Peter, now chuckling along with the rest of the Heavenly choir, and asks God's gatekeeper in a stutter, "B-b-but how?! I lost everything, yet Jesus' program is intact! How did He do it?"
St. Peter winks and replies, "You should have realized in the Garden of Eden, when you tempted Him on the mountain and on the Cross, when you spewed lies to all His children down through the centuries; you should have realized then something that almost everybody knows: Jesus saves!"
*JC1 = Jesus Christ One (Won!)
Hooked, line and sinker!
A new sailor signed on with the crew of a mighty brigantine ship of sea. His first day he came across a crusty old pirate who was missing a few things. Curious to find out why he only had one leg, one hand and one eye he set about finding out.
The seaman finally got up the nerve and approached the pirate, asking, "So, how'd you end up with the peg leg?"
The pirate replied, "Well, matey, we were in a storm at sea we were n' I was swept overboard right into a school of hungry sharks! Just as me men were pulling me back onto the ship, one of the sharks bit me leg off!"
"Wow!" tallied the shocked seaman. "But what about your hook?"
"Well," replied the pirate, "We were boarding an enemy ship we were and battling the other sailors with swords. Oh it was ferocious, and sure as I'm standin' here on one leg, one of the enemy sailors cut off me hand!"
"Incredible!" blurted the seaman. "And might I be so bold to ask how you got the eyepatch?"
The pirate winced, then responded, "A seagull dropping fell in me eye one day."
Incredulously the sailor shot back, "You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?"
"Yeah, matey," said the pirate, "it was me first day with the hook!"
Have we ever reacted like this? God has it covered, sometimes it's the overall plan God helps us make and sometimes it's a unique plan God makes for us! The lesson here is to be patient, do the right thing and it will work out. So be careful not to get hooked on something we don't see at first. That seems to be satan's manifesto, get us hooked and drop doodoo on our plans and then relish watching us destroy ourselves because of our humanness. Thankfully, God is always there to straighten us out as we hobble along in blindness!
JANUARY GEMS THAT ENRICH FOOD FOR THOUGHT APPETEASERS