DAILY CATHOLIC    WEDNESDAY     January 20, 1999     vol. 10, no. 13


To print out entire text of Today's issue, go to SECTION ONE and SECTION TWO
      Today's food for thought come from EJB and NL via e-mail. The first is very short but the point is the grass is not always greener on the other side as we see in "Be careful what you ask for!" and the second are actual billboards erected by a Christian company in Florida that are the talk of the town and having a definite impact. In case you haven't seen them, we want to share "Signs of Life" with you on the information highway of the DAILY CATHOLIC.

Be careful what you ask for!

    Two priests died at the same time and met Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, "I'd like to get you guys in now, but our computer's down. You'll have to go back to Earth for about a week, but you can't go back as humans. What'll it be?"

          The first priest says, "I've always wanted to be an eagle, soaring above the Rocky mountains." "So be it," says St. Peter, and off flies the first priest.

          The second priest mulls this over for a moment and asks, "Will any of this week 'count', St. Peter?" "No, I told you the computer's down. There's no way we can keep track of what you're doing. The week's a freebie." "In that case," says the second priest, "I've always wanted to be a stud.""So be it," says St. Peter, and the second priest disappears.

          A week goes by, the computer is fixed, and the Lord tells St. Peter to recall the two priests. "Will you have any trouble locating them?" He asks. "The first one should be easy," says St. Peter. "He's somewhere over the Rockies, flying with the eagles. But the second one could prove to be more difficult."

          "Why?" asketh the Lord. St. Peter answered, "He's on a snow tire, somewhere in North Dakota."

Signs of Life

    1. Let's Meet At My House Sunday Before the Game --God

    2. C'mon Over And Bring The Kids --God

    3. What Part of "Thou Shalt Not..." Didn't You Understand? --God

    4. We Need To Talk --God

    5. Keep Using My Name in Vain And I'll Make Rush Hour Longer--God

    6. Loved The Wedding, Invite Me To The Marriage --God

    7. That "Love Thy Neighbor" Thing? I Meant It. --God

    8. I Love You...I Love You...I Love You... --God

    9. Will The Road You're On Get You To My Place? --God

    10. Follow Me. --God

    11. Big Bang Theory? You've Got To Be Kidding. --God

    12. My Way Is The Highway. --God

    13. Need Directions? --God

    14. You Think It's Hot Here? --God

    15. Tell The Kids I Love Them. --God

    16. Need a Good Marriage Counselor? I'm Available. --God

    17. Have You Read My #1 Best Seller? There Will Be a Test. --God

January 20, 1999       volume 10, no. 13


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