DAILY CATHOLIC WEDNESDAY December 2, 1998 vol. 9, no. 234
DECEMBER DECORATIONS THAT ENHANCE FOOD FOR THOUGHT APPETEASERS
To print out entire text of Today's issue, go to SECTION ONE & SECTION TWO
Today's food for thought is a potpourri of seriousness and whimsy, the former is the first story which deals with baseball in the clouds as sent to us via e-mail by GDS. Even though baseball season is over, we couldn't resist bringing you this bit of wisdom as free agents continue to break the bank of owners and the ticket-buying public while missing the real point which Hall of Fame great Roberto Clemente might have discovered after he left this earth several years ago. Following is a hypothetical game that strikes home with an important point. The second part leans to the whimsy as we bring you seventeen truths - or suppositions that are truly finite brought to us by NH via e-mail. .
A Grace-full game!
Roberto Clemente was caught up in the Spirit where he and the Lord stood by to observe a baseball game just outside of Heaven. The Lord's team was playing satan's team. The Lord's team was at bat, the score was tied zero to zero, and it was the bottom of the 9th inning with two outs. They continued to watch as a batter, whose name was Love, stepped up to the plate. Love swung at the first pitch and hit a single, because Love never fails.
The next batter was named Faith, who also got a single because Faith works with Love. The next batter up was named Godly Wisdom. Satan wound up and threw the first pitch; Godly Wisdom looked it over and let it pass, because Godly Wisdom doesn't swing at satan's pitches. Ball one.
Three more pitches and Godly Wisdom walked, because Godly Wisdom never swings at satan's throws. The bases are loaded.
The Lord then turned to Roberto and told him He was now going to bring in His star player. Up to the plate stepped Grace. Bob said he sure didn't look like much! Satan's whole team relaxed when they saw Grace. Thinking he had won the game, satan wound up and fired his first pitch. To the shock of everyone, Grace hit the ball harder than anyone had ever seen.
But satan wasn't worried; his center fielder, the Prince of the Air, let very few get by. He went up for the ball, but it went right through his glove, hit him on the head and sent him crashing to the ground; then the ball continued over the fence for a grand slam! The Lord's team won.
The Lord then asked Roberto if he knew why Love, Faith and Godly Wisdom could get on base but couldn't win the game? Roberto answered that he didn't know why. The Lord explained, "If your love, faith and wisdom had won the game you would have thought you had done it by yourself.
Love, faith and wisdom will get you on base, but only My Grace can get you home. My Grace is the one thing satan cannot stop. "God's grace is truly sufficient!
Simple finite truths!
1. Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things.
2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
3. One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.
. 4. To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated but not be able to say it.
5. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
6. The older you get, the better you realize you were.
7. I doubt, therefore I might be.
8. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
9. Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
10. Women like silent men, they think they're listening.
11. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
12. A fool and his money are soon partying.
13. Do pediatricians play miniature golf on Wednesdays?
14. Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
15. Do infants lie in infancy as much as adults do in adultery.
16. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
17. If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
A NOVEMBER CORNUCOPIA OF FOOD FOR THOUGHT APPETEASERS